The ending happens suddenly
Awakened from the blackout
He leaves and you are left—
Wondering, blaming, maybe even waiting
And him?
Still drunk off the night’s conquest
High fived from his boys for tapping that mess
Surrounded by crowds
While you’re left all alone
Looks of pity or a solid scold
He won.
It’s done.
There’s no use in speaking.
He will move on.
There will be another beginning.
My love for you will still remain,
Even though it causes so much pain.
It doesn’t die as easily,
Despite how badly we try to kill it.
Putting poison in my viens,
I want you out of my head.
The hardest thing is–
Blackouts were something we shared.
So falling into that despair
Is stained with you.
How do I get away?
Such a fucking shame…
You hurt when you see me?
I hurt. Always.
It’s not a new feeling for me.
This has been manifesting.
Since I first laid eyes on you–
Confusion and contemplation.
You can be mad. Be fucking mad.
I’ve been mad,
So it’s about fucking time you caught up.
Please don’t be a season.
Don’t be a fallen leaf in Autumn that slowly dies as it hits the pavement.
Don’t be the touch of snow on skin that quickly melts away in Winter.
Don’t be the rainbow after rain, hiding behind clouds of grey in Spring.
Don’t be warm beach days, fresh green grass and bright sunny rays that pass by as quickly as time does in the Summer.
You’re not allowed to come in and out of my life like the weather.
I want you for years to come.
I want you like the comfort of sitting down after every long day, knowing it’s a luxury whether on the floor or a coushioned chair.
I want you like the tattoo on the bottom of my neck, wearing out from too much sun exposure, but always holding meaning within my skin.
I want you like the memories written in books passed down for generations– causing stories to be diluted, but still partaking in history.
I want you like all of my body, maybe growing weaker as I get older, but always remaining, always trying, still working after so much vulnerability.
You are not just a season to me, you are a year. A year full of life, memories, sunshine, rainy days, snow fall and golden brown leaves on the ground.
Please don’t just be another season.
Like the seasons, people leave.
Sometimes they are as harsh as a winter breeze,
Or as soft as a fallen leaf.
Either way they make their mark–
Causing scars all over your heart.
Just know you’ll survive when they part.
To really live we need both rain and shine.
Realize this and you’ll be fine.
People will keep passing as fast as time–
Taking your breath away like blooming spring flowers,
Lasting for months or only a few hours.
Bringing upon unexpected beauty and pain like May showers.
When they leave, they’ll take their weather–
The storm that you had created together.
But after a storm comes the sun and you won’t be missing them forever.
Infinite Strive 